


Unclear Things

by roughmagic



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-14 00:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5722225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roughmagic/pseuds/roughmagic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a tfa_kink prompt: "So stormtrooper life was pretty brutal, and if a higher-up does you a favor you were expected to repay him or her with the only thing you had: your body. Cue Finn trying to offer Poe sex. Up to anon whether Poe is like wtf up front, or happily goes along with it because he thinks it's consensual and then finds out afterwards why Finn offered and is HORRIFIED."</p>
<p>Poe is like wtf up front.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unclear Things

**Author's Note:**

> http://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/1082.html?thread=28986#cmt28986
> 
> i remember reading this prompt and thinking, "oh, my god. this is it. this is the prompt that gets me to finally write for a kmeme instead of just lurking." and so, here we are...

“Finn?”

Poe’s voice seems to come to him from a long way off, which is ridiculous, because Poe’s as close as someone can get to him. Finn’s vividly aware of that much, although how they had gotten crammed together in Finn’s one-man bunk is blurry in comparison. Lots of indistinct thoughts about Poe’s eyelashes, the set of his mouth when he smiles, Poe asking something and the pieces falling into place for Finn. 

It didn’t really matter how they got there, anyway, it just mattered that they were here, now. Together. Very much together, Finn’s gifted jacket on the floor somewhere, Poe’s flight suit peeled down to his waist and Poe himself wedged between Finn’s legs, leaning over him with slow, gentle hands and a mouth that hasn’t stopped. 

It seems surreal that it’s finally happening, that he had gotten through his entire adult life in the First Order and it was only now, in the Resistance, where this was happening. Where he was finally paying someone back, finally evening the score. Where someone had finally thought to cash in on him. 

Thank the stars it was Poe. If _Phasma_ had asked him to her quarters during the off-hours—

“Finn!”

Finn jerks out of his thoughts, blinking rapidly a few times and focusing back on Poe— Poe’s face, Poe’s eyes, Poe’s hands resting on his shoulders. “Sorry!”

“You spaced out there, buddy.” The other man pulls back, smoothing both hands down Finn’s chest. “You okay?”

“Yeah! I’m— I’m good.”

He must not be convincing enough, because Poe’s expression softens, and he leans all the way back, sitting back on his knees. “Let’s take a rain check.”

“No!” Finn’s guts lurch, and he pushes himself upright. This had been going so well, wondering when it would happen again, worrying if it would be as nice, that’d be too much. Poe had already been bewilderingly patient, all things considered. “It’s been long enough already, I don’t want to make you wait.”

“I’m not sure I follow. You’re not making me wait for anything, Finn, this goes at your pace.” He claps a hand on Finn’s thigh in a maddeningly friendly gesture.

“But this is for you.” Poe doesn’t seem to get it, and the first sensations of dread start to prick at him. “That’s… that’s what this was about. I wanted to thank you, for everything. To pay you back.”

“Pay me back?” He can only watch as Poe’s brows furrow, with confusion, then understanding. “With… yourself?”

Finn feels a cold wash of fear, and he doesn’t know why. Poe wouldn’t hurt him. He’s almost entirely sure Poe wouldn’t hurt him. “I don’t have anything else.” 

“I thought you…” He trails off, and it takes Finn a moment to place his expression. But he does, and it’s horror. “I thought you wanted this, Finn! You don’t owe me anything!”

“Yeah, I do!” He hears himself getting desperate, whether to assure Poe or just to explain himself, whatever, it’s all muddled, it’s all wrong— “A higher up looks out for you, and you pay them back! That’s how it works!”

Poe seems to remember the rest of himself and scrambles out of Finn’s bunk like it burned him, shaking his head. “Not here, there’s— there is _no_ place for that here. I’m not your higher up, I’m your _friend_ , and any favors I do for you are because I care about you, not because I expect you to repay them on your back!”

His voice had risen by the time he stops, and it becomes even more noticeable in the sudden silence. There’s the low hum of the generators deeper within the base, the white noise of the ventilation. 

Shame curls up in Finn’s guts, races up to his face in a flush of unpleasant heat. “I messed up.”

“No, you didn’t. I did, this is on me.” Poe slumps down to sit on the floor, his back resting against Finn’s bunk. Finn knows rationally it’s better than him running away, but he looks so dejected that it feels even worse. “You didn’t know. I should’ve asked, I should’ve found out, not just… let you jump into bed with me.”

“I’m sorry, Poe.”

“Don’t say that. _I’m_ sorry. Stars, I’m _sorry_ , Finn, I…” Poe puts his face in his hands and Finn panics at the thought of him crying— he wouldn’t, would he? Not over this, not over him. “I wouldn’t have said yes if I thought you felt obligated.”

“Would you have said yes,” Finn says, slowly, like he can test his footing on what is undeniably shaky ground. “If I had said that I liked you?”

Poe looks up at him with a glance that’s nothing but hurt, raw and hot, and it’s all but impossible for Finn to believe that it’s not at him, that it’s not his fault. “Are you saying that because you mean it, or because you feel like you’ve upset me and have to make up for it?”

It’s not very compelling to have to pause, but Finn can’t help it. This wasn’t how he’d wanted to bring any of this up to Poe, but he asked. Poe asked, and he couldn’t lie to him. “Because I mean it.” 

“ _Finn_.” Poe’s face twists in pain and he moves to turn away and Finn moves automatically, scrambling out of bed to sit next to him on the floor, keep them on the same eye level. Keep them together. 

“This wasn’t what I wanted to happen,” he says, hearing how stop-and-go he sounds and hating every piece of it. “The, uh, feeling bad parts, mainly. What I mean is, this kind of… coincided with something I wanted to do anyway. I thought you might not like me that way, but I owed you something, so you might—“ Finn stops, figuring the whys and hows are probably not as important to Poe at this point. Or maybe they are, and Finn’s too nervous to judge what’s the other man is thinking. 

“How did we get this far without being on the same page?” 

Finn knows he’s not actually asking him, that it’d just throw salt in the wounds to answer. It’d make him look like even more of a bumbling innocent than he apparently already was, even if he didn’t feel that way in the least. There’s something about the silence hanging in the room that makes him worry Poe is going to break it by leaving, and he doesn’t want that. Of all the unclear things in his life, Finn knows he doesn’t want that. 

Finn scoots closer together, brushing his knuckles against the back of Poe’s hand. “Can we pretend it didn’t happen and try again?” He hears himself say it and thinks it might sound more suggestive than he’d meant it to be. 

“No. Yes. I don’t want to pretend this didn’t happen, but I do want to try again.” Poe sighs, reaching for Finn’s hand and finding it open, ready to lace their fingers together. “I care about you, Finn. I want you to be with someone you can trust.”

“I am, I’m pretty sure. It’s you.” Finn gets the small pleasure of saying it like it’s obvious, because it is. He catches Poe’s eye. “One mistake’s not going to ruin _everything_ , right?”

Poe stares at him, all dark eyes and dramatic angles even in the dim light, but the tension’s gone out of him, leaving a tired smile behind. “No. It definitely won’t.” He leans forward, pressing a kiss onto Finn’s forehead. 

Finn disguises a lump in his throat with a grumbling tone. “Everyone always goes for the forehead. My mouth’s right here, it’s not that much farther.”

“I know, I know.” Poe lingers, smiling against Finn’s temple. “Back to bed? The floor’s kind of cold.”

“Yeah.”

They crawl back into the bunk, which is somehow even closer quarters when they aren’t in the throes of romance. Poe eventually settles down with his head on Finn’s chest, which turns out to provoke a beautiful feeling that curls right up under Finn’s breastbone. 

He thinks about telling Poe thank you— not just for the choice of a name, not for the jacket, not for saving his life, or his patience and his affection, or for any of the other things that Finn had thought that he’d owed him a thank you for. Craning his neck a little, he looks down at Poe, and finds it’s that he’s thankful for him. As a friend, a comrade, and eventually— erring on sooner rather than later, Finn promises himself— a partner. 

Finn considers waking him up to tell him, but it can wait. Everything can wait, for now.

He’s confident Poe knows.


End file.
